I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
