Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Randomize
