I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
