She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
