woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
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