I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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