Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
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