vagina is talking i cant
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
