i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
