We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
