do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Randomize
