what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Randomize
