just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
