areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize