Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
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