Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
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