he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
