My boss' voice literally gives me gas
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize
