If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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