Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
