Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
too bad burritos don't cuddle back
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
