The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
Randomize