I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
