this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
This hangover is so bad, we are pregaming Chinese food with pizza.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
That freshman kid successfully snuck into a college party, got caught, proceeded to jump out of a second story window without getting a scratch then met up with us a block away and somehow managed to get a bottle of grey goose in the meantime. He is truly blessed by the alcohol gods
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Randomize
