I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
Sorry about my life...
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
