this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
