Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Randomize
