Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Is Oprah even human
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
