I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
