I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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