I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
my mom just threw water on me to get me awake and is screaming "where is my fucking car?!"
you gave me a ride last nite what the hell did you do with it after you left me?
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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