Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
