Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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