Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
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