I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
i swear to god if you did anything to my honey bunches ill remove all the oats and shove them up your dickhole then play pinata with my foot to knock them all back out
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
