So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
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