Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
