is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
this morning i woke up under the kitchen table. i went to my room and there was an inflatable whale in my bed with a banana duct taped to where its penis should be. there were trails of cheez-its around my apartment and i found $67 in the crotch of my underwear. im guessing i had a very happy birthday.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
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