im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
