why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Woke up with pink eye in both my eyes. That's how the threesome went
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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