You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
