New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
