i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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