I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I cannot find my penis.
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
So here I am, sexting at work.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
