"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
He did a backflip because drugs
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
