he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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