she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Damn victory sex feels great
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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