I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I got her a Nickelback box set.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
