Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
