she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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