But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
