Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
