I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Randomize