It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
