....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Don't tell me you're on acid again
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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