I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Was so drunk I had to masturbate face up cuz I thought I was gonna be suffocated by the pillows.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
Randomize
